The Cycle of Violence

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

 This is the wheel my good friend Becky showed me, thanks love! I still say you saved my life. My husband did every one of these, he especially loved using the children against me. He always told me I would be nothing with out him and I would have nothing, he would get the house my car and the kids. My husband would never allow me to lose weight or cut my hair, he would never allow me to color it red. As soon as I left him I cut my hair and I colored it red, so for the first time he saw me in court after our separation I showed him he wasn't going to control me any more. 

Another thing my husband used to do was keep money from me, I was never allowed to have money, if we went to the store and I needed shampoo if I didn't have my own money I didn't get it, but he always got what ever he wanted. Any money I got for my birthday or anything I spent it on my child I would save it for Christmas because he would never buy them gifts. 

My husband used to keep a tracker on my phone, I never knew about it until I looked down one day at my screen and it said it was checking my location. When I confronted him about it, he told me he did it because he was worried. Really, worried huh?! He knew where I was every second of every hour of every day. 

Another sign I knew want right but chose to ignore it any ways, was his suicide  threats. I cant even began to tell you how many times I had to talk him out from having a gun against his head, or a blade against his wrist. It was exhausting, everyday I never knew when he was going to snap, one minute everything could be completely fine the next he was yelling or punching things. 

My husband knew I was terrified of guns, so his game of choice was to stand at the end of the bed during the night while I was asleep and click his gun, do you have any idea what it is like to wake up in complete darkness hearing a gun clicking?! I could be sitting in the living room and him in the bedroom and I would see the laser pointer from him gun on my chest, I never knew if he was going to shoot or just playing around like he does. Thanks to a text message I saved on my phone of him saying he would shoot me if he ever saw me with someone else, I was able to get my protection order. And would you believe he sat in front of the judge and said he didn't send any text like that.   Thank goodness the judge asked me if there was anything else I had to say and i was able to get up and show the text. Once a liar always a liar I say!