Something Old..

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The other day I was cleaning up trying to find places to put things, when I opened up my curio cabinet and there looking me in the face was all my wedding stuff. My cake topper, wine glasses, bubbles, our serving set, napkins, ring pillow and a photo album containing our marriage licenses and wedding pictures. And I thought to my self do i really want to get rid of this stuff? It has been in there for 10 years will I be able to part with it, throw it away? Believe me I wanted to, but instead I took it all out and packed it in a box and labeled it " Wedding Stuff, Do Not Open" I figured I would keep it packed away and out of this house maybe one of our daughters would want to use it, I don't know that's what I thought at the time. Among this stuff I had a candle that was made for us, had each of our names on it with a year 2001, I said to my self, you know what Im just going to throw this away, and then it hit me, BURN IT! and this is what I did, I lit that candle and watched it burn, like the flame in our marriage was slowly burning away away, and as I sat and watched it I had a calming peace come over me. This was a step I needed to do. 

The candle is still burning I just lit it again, and I will continue to light it and watch it burn until the whole things is gone; and when it is done burning I plan to smash it and throw it away. I have so  much anger towards this man that maybe this will help to release it some. I know it sounds crazy but I have it in  my mind that this is what I need to do. 

This is the first step of many to come, and I can only hope it will get better from here on out!