One of my first memories...

Its amazing how something so small can make you remember something that you thought you had forgotten, I remember the first time my ex husband ever hit me. 

We had just got home and he was mad, so he picked my son up by his feet and went to hit him when I stepped in and took him out of his hands, my ex slapped me across the face so hard my glasses went to the other side of the room. I was in shock, I didn't know what to do. He left the house and I called his mother and she and his father came over, told me how he wasn't raised that way and didn't know what would make him do such a thing. Of course his story was that I hit him and that's why he slapped me. There were little things after that, like throwing a cat on my back as I sat on the floor, or throwing objects at me when I wasn't looking. but yet I stayed, why was a I so stupid to stay, I cant even answer that question correctly, I loved him,I truly did, and I would have done anything for him. I could have left him, I mean I had a job and the place he moved in to was mine, but yet I didn't kick him out, Why?! Im sure we have all asked our self the same question over and over again, and we have yet to come up with a decent answer. I get asked all the time why did I stay, what people don't understand, that's never been through that has no idea what goes on in our head, what power our abuser has over us, its not as easy to leave like some people think it is. 

Starting over..

I have lost the password to my other blog so I had to restart it over, I was able to transfer all my post so they didn't get lost. I will be keeping up with this blog to do what I started with and that is to spread the word on Domestic Violence, to let others know they are not alone. 

 Its been one year since I have been divorces and I couldn't be happier. Even though we had to move, and I had to get a new car it was all worth it. I have me a wonderful man who supports me in my decisions, who loves my children like his own, who treats me with respect. He knows what I went through over the past 13 years. He knows that I still struggle with the aftermath of what I was put through. My children are happy, and they don't see their father very often, it has gotten to the point that they don't even ask if he is going to see them this weekend. They know who is there for them and who isn't. 

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a beautiful Butterfly

Friday, August 9, 2013

It's all over, as of today I am officially DIVORCED!

Was supposed to happen until next week, but he agreed to  my terms and instead of going for contempt of court, we went ahead and settled today. I feel so much relief, I cried, I cried because I was happy, I cried because I felt like a failure, but then like my lawyer said when she hugged me, I tried for 13 years to make it work, I didn't ask for him to rape me and I didn't ask for him to control my life, I didn't ask for him to abuse our children but he did. This is the first day of a new life for me. It's like I have been reborn and seeing the world for the first time. I am at peace, I am happy, and I will continue to live my life the way I want to live it!

It Will Be Final...

Friday, July 5, 2013

I cant believe I haven't posted this yet, but my divorce will be final August 13th. I cant believe it, its been one heck of a year fighting for my self and my children. The judge said it should have been done a long time ago, but since he was fighting for custody it dragged us out. But the kicker is after all this time him fighting for custody and the judge giving him week long visitation every other week, he dropped his custody case and no longer wants them. What an ASS! His excuse was that he didn't have the room for them, and that his mother didn't want to watch them while he worked. Oh well, just shows you what kind of people they are..So he hasn't got them for visitation, and he still only sees them an hour when he feels like it. That's ok, because I plan on leaving this state once everything is final, I cant wait. It will be a healing process for my self and the children. I got a new job a new car and my divorce will be final, just when I was about to give up things started looking up for me, I couldn't be happier!!

I am Devastated!!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Where to start..Had court this morning was only supposed to last 15 mins, it lasted about and hour and a half. We went in there because what we though was going to be the contempt charge, was not.. They scheduled his counter claim that's what we went for. I came out of there crying my eyes out.. So here it goes... 

    His lawyer tried to say he couldn't afford the house, car and pay child support that sometimes he only brings home 3$ a week when he works..The Judge made me choose between the car or the house. I told him the car because I could move, but I needed the car to get the kids where they need to go and I needed to get to work. The Judge ordered my ex to keep paying the house payment and to get it caught up. Judge ordered that he have every other week with the children, my girls will be with their father who hasn't spent any time with them but an hour maybe every other weekend, since last March. A man who was never around to help out when they were growing up. I was there every single day with them 24/7 since their birth. I cried..I didn't want this at all, His mother sat there huffing and puffing slapping her leg because she doesn't have room to keep them at her house, this was her words not mine. My car will be repoed, however he is ordered to give me 2000 to put down on another car and I make those payments. If he doesn't he has to give me his truck to drive. Judge asked me if it was OK that he took the 2000 out of his 401k I said that was fine. The car will be in my name I will be responsible for the payment taxes and tags that way he can not come and take the tags like he did before. I told the judge I did not want him to have the kids for a whole week because he was abusive to them and it is in my statement and my mothers statement because she saw it. his lawyer fought that and I lost, he gets them every other week, The girls said they do not want to go at all..he has a couple days to get the 2000$ up because I work. oh and they dropped his child support, so the only thing he pays is the house payment. That's it!! And its so far behind there is no way he will ever be able to catch it up. 

Pissed Off!!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

So I worked Friday night didn't get off until 1:30, I wasn't driving my car a friend was because we switched. Well Saturday I worked got off at 5 came home to relax when my mom went out with her friend who had my car. They call me about 1 am and tell me the tag on my car was gone, someone took it.. Of course I already knew who did, but I called the police to report it, and officer called me back and told me that my husband took the tag off of my car because he said I was driving with out insurance and his lic was going to be suspended. I told the office I was looking at my insurance papers right then, and that the judge ordered me the car not him. I said he was supposed to be making payment that I have all the paper work. The officer was like he didn't know that that Brandon told him it was his car and the officer told him he could take the whole car if he wanted to, the officer was like you was at the bar last night, I was like no I wasn't I was at work, he kept going on and on about me in the bar, So I told him I have the video tape from the bar that proves I wasn't in there. Well, I send Brandon a text and tell him he can not see the kids to day unless I get my tag back, his response I don't know what you are talking about.. So I told him that he knows excatelly what I am talking about, that he lied to the police officer and that he took my tag, I went on to say if I do not get it back by the end of the day, I will get him for theft because I have all the paper work and court papers..He never responded again. 

Now here I am with a car, insurance and all that but no tag, I cant get to work or the kids get to school because of it, resulting in me losing my job, and the kids missing all the fun from the last week of school, not to mention I cant get to my lawyers Wednesday or court friday..he is a real piece of work and I hope he gets busted and in jail!

Court Date Is Set..

Saturday, June 1, 2013

We have a court date set for his contempt charge, June 7th at 9am..I hope he gets something!!! We also go to court June 14th for a pre-trial hearing so the judge can find out what's taking so long. Wish me tons of luck please!